Merry Go Round
by Enchantable
Summary: After all they had been through, after all they had done, their reunion was not supposed to be like this
1. A Hidden Truth

**Okay so someone pointed out that despite my love for IchiRuki. I haven't do anything exclusively for them. So here you go. It could be viewed as a followup to 'Almost Lovers' but it works separately as well.**

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She could hear people screaming.

Rukia's fingers tightened momentarily on the hilt of her Zanpakto but her fingers slackened, despite her desire. It seemed terribly strange to her that the sky was such a pretty shade of blue. the world was falling apart, ripping at its seems, and still the sun was shining and the clouds were drifting lazily by. If she just laid there she could pretend the wetness on her lips, the difficulty she was having breathing, she could pretend it was just water. That she was fishing with Renji like they used to do when they were children.

She could pretend it wasn't her blood.

Blood seeping through the fabric of her robes, spilling from her lips, blood pooling in her broken, failing body and making it so very hard to breath. She had fought, she had _killed_. She had killed guilty people, people who deserved it. So many had gone down under the arc of her blade that she wondered if Sode would ever be white again. These were people who deserved it, not people like Kaien Shiba whose death would haunt her for the rest of her life, however short it may be.

Agony twisted up from some dark, hidden place in her and her cry mingled with the hundreds of others. War cries, death cries, they all mingled together in a horrible symphony. The clash of blades, made wet with the blood they spilt, only added to it. The wave of agony retreated leaving the Shinigami gasping for air in its wake. It was harder to breath, a thousand times harder than it had been before but still she struggled. Still she inhaled and exhaled, still she fought. Her opponents were dead now, the only battle she had to face was one against her own failing body, one against herself. She managed to turn her head to the side to spit the blood out, she didn't want to choke on it and die.

She couldn't die alone, not after what Kaien had said. Even if she deserved it, even if she was unworthy of passing her heart on, she couldn't do it.

She was afraid.

So very afraid and so very cold and the world was flickering on the edges. Not like the blackout she had when she fought the Espada, this was a slow, terrible pull that had a kind of certainty to it she could hardly bare.

A scream echoed nearby, growing closer.

She didn't think anyone would be dishonorable enough to kill her when she was so close to dying but, then again, she wasn't sure. It was only as the voice screaming broke that she realized she only heard the last syllable of the scream. The 'A', as in 'Rukia.' Why would someone be screaming _her_ name? Something else hit her face, not blood, not tears but mud. Mud kicked up by someone falling to their knees beside her on the battlefeild.

"Rukia!!"

"Ich-go," her lips could barely form the name of the orange haired man who looked at her so desperately.

He was battle stained as well, his bright orange hair more red than orange with blood. His coat was more torn than usual and the chain hanging from Zangetsu looked a bit shorter as well. She knew he was bleeding elsewhere too. He had gone and gotten himself hurt but he would be fine.

After all, heroes survived.

"Oh _God_ Rukia," he sounded sick as his hands hovered over her, as though he was unsure how to touch her without causing her more pain, "I'm going to get help, just hold on--"

She wasn't sure how she found the strength to catch the sleeve of his coat, nor how he realized her feeble hold before he broke it but both happened. Rukia knew she needed help, she knew she had to be strong, she knew all that and yet, and yet she couldn't bring herself to let him leave. Something told her that if she let him go now, if she let him run, it would the last time she ever saw him. She managed to give a bare shake of her head. He seemed torn between what she need and what she wanted before he seemed to come to some sort of resolve.

"I"m going to get you out of this Rukia," he said, some of the strength returning into his voice.

"Idiot," she whispered through the blood in her mouth, "don't say such stupid t-things," the agony was back as a choked whimper tore itself from her throat. The world lurched amidst the agony as her fingers dug into cloth-covered flesh. Her head was gently held up, it was easier to breath when she wasn't lying down, "I-Ichig-" she could barely speak between the agony and the fight to breath

"Its okay," his voice was directly above her, "I've got you, its okay," the agony cleared a bit and she realized he did indeed have her. He had her cradled to his chest, his arms supporting her so that she could breath, "just hold on. We're going to get you to Orihim--"

"No," she whispered, "she needs to save her strength," she took a raspy breath, "save her strength for someone worth saving."

"Shut up!" his voice was a desperate, broken plea above her, "you're worth saving! Don't you dare say otherwise!"

Her lips had to quirk up at that one. Her? Worth saving? Hardly. What had she ever done but put him in trouble?

Put his friends in trouble?

She had killed Kaien--twice now.

She tortured her brother with her resemblance to her sister.

She broke Renji's heart.

She didn't deserve to live past this. She did _want_ to live past this. Not with the weight that seemed to be pressing on her chest or the darkness that seemed to be threatening her vision. Ichigo's arms gripped her tightly as Rukia tried to breath. It was so hard, a thousand times harder than it had ever been before. Her own fingers shakily fisted themselves in Ichigo's coat, his chest warm against the ice of her skin. He pulled her tightly against him, as though if he crushed her to his chest he could keep her with him a little longer.

"Our reunion wasn't supposed to be like this," she heard him whisper raggedly above her, "not like this."

"S-sorry," she managed to get out.

"N-no its my fault for listening to you," he said looking down at her. She though she saw him smile but the world was even foggier now, "I'm not making that mistake a second time," She felt the world shift as it finally slid completely out of focus. She could feel the jostling as well but the pain had finally gone away and all she could feel was the unbearable weight on her chest, "stay with me."

"Nakama's a foolish word, don't you think?"

"Don't do this now," his fingers tightened on her as the world darkened, "damn it Rukia, don't do this now. Not like this."

"I guess we were both fools," the world faded to the black of his coat, "I can leave my heart with you," she whispered, though she wasn't sure how much he heard.

The world faded to black.

But not before she heard him whisper.

"Then I'll have to fix it, won't I?"


	2. Hallelujah

**I planned to end this on a much happier note but not yet. Hopefully I'll do another chapter. The song for this is:**

**Hallelujah by either Jeff Buckley or Kate Voegele.**

**Personally I was listening to the Voegele version which is a bit more folksy. The Buckley version makes this story seem, if possible even more tragic.**

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Ichigo had always thought Rukia was actually quite graceful. Even when she was launching herself at him like a mini rocket or in those far more pleasant occasions when she was destroying someone else he found grace in how she moved.

Or even when she fell in battle.

He shouldn't have noticed really. She was only visible out of the corner of his eye. One moment she was there and one moment, one moment he turned his head to avoid a strike and the sight of her filled his eyes. But it was not what he wanted to see, it was _never_ what he wanted to see. Red and white and violet and black, all mingled together in a graceful arc that fell in slow motion. Despite the monumental distance between them he still found it incredible that he was unable to catch her as her body hit the mud of the battlefield.

He would never be able to remember who he was fighting, just that their head was soon separated from their body as he surged forward. She was, she was so impossibly far away! Farther away than when her brother had taken her to Soul Society, farther than when her Spiritual Pressure disappeared, farther than when Grimmjow had almost murdered her in cold blood as he stood motionless a breath away. He may have killed Shinigami as he ran, hell he could have killed Sado as he ran for all the care he gave to who was destroyed by Zangetsu's blade. All that mattered was her form, barely visible in the bloody ground.

Rukia

_Stop moving, you'll only make your wounds worse!_

Rukia

_Just keep breathing, I swear, I'm almost_

Rukia

_I'm almost_

Rukia

_I'm almost there_

"Rukia!!" he dropped to his knees next to her, mud splashing onto the porcelain skin of her cheek.

He wished his father wasn't a doctor.

God, it would be _so_ much easier if he didn't half-know what was wrong with her. If he didn't half know what he could see from the gashes that sliced through her. He could see a Mirada of wounds, half healed wounds. Damn it she was already injured going into this! He could feel the anger burning through him.

Except the anger seemed to be focused on his throat and eyes.

"Ich-go," her lips formed his name, her eyes sweeping over him in the familiar assessment of his wounds.

His wounds.

"Oh _God_, Rukia," he breathed.

He looked at her, wondering where he could possibly touch her that wouldn't send her into waves of agony. Help, he had to, he had to go get help. He didn't know if he told her that but when he went to go he felt the barest tug on his sleeve. Desperation crept into Rukia's eyes, under the pain, under the agony, she was begging him not to go. He had learned to read her, to read what all the anger and kicks _really_ meant but he had never seen such crystal clear desperation in her eyes.

Save for that one time when her brother had come to take her away.

He had saved her from that and, damnit, he was going to save her from this as well.

"I'm going to get you out of this, Rukia," he said firmly.

Through the blood in her mouth she called him an idiot one moment, told him not to say stupid things. And the next she was crying out, the sound so desperate and heart-wrenching that he felt his own howl in response. Medicine told him not to move her. She probably hurt her spine, moving her would do more damage. He learned why doctors needed to be detached when his instinct overrode everything else and he hauled her up, pulling her against him as everything in his body screamed at him to do something, to do _anything_ to help her breath. Rukia gasped out his name, the sound a thousand times more desperate than the first time she had said it when he fell next to her.

"Its okay, its okay, its okay," he repeated it, desperate to make it true, "I've got you, its okay. You can go and kick my ass and-and just hold on. We're going to get you to Orihim--"

"No," her voice was slightly stronger, "she needs to save her strength," a horrible rattling breath, "save her strength for someone worth saving."

_What?!_

His mind was blank as he looked down at her. She couldn't be serious. But he could see she was. She was just going to give up, she was going to die here on this battlefield and she wasn't going to do anything to change that.

_Is going to be executed_

_Rukia Kuchiki is dead_

_Surely you felt it?_

"Shut up!" he screamed, both at her and the voice in his head, "you're worth saving!" _you've _always_ been worth saving,_ "don't you dare say otherwise!" _don't you dare die in my arms._

Her lips quirked into the barest, bitter smile as the light faded a bit more in her eyes. Ignoring the medical training, ignoring _everything_ he scooped her up and tightened his grip. If it hurt her she didn't show it save for the fingers that tightened on the inner lining of his coat. Her knuckles were against his skin and they already felt like ice. He didn't know how he thought to grab the mud splattered Sode no Shirayuki but he did. Somehow he thought that Zangetsu would kill him himself if he let the other spirit die.

_Go! Save the Reunion for Later._

_No! I don't want to go. I want to stay beside you. I just got you back. Don't make me go, don't make us continue this horrible lie._

"Our reunion wasn't supposed to be like this," he choked out, wondering when it had gotten so hard to speak, "not like this," _never like this_

"S-sorry," she choked out.

"No," he said, some strength returning to his voice, "its my fault for listening to you," her eyes slid completely out of focus, "I'm not making that mistake a second time," he tightened his grip on her, "stay with me." _for now, for tomorrow, for forever_

He heard her whisper something but the words were so soft and thready under the din of the battlefield that he didn't hear it for a moment.

"Nakama's a foolish word, don't you think?"

_No._

_No, please no, oh _God_ no. _

"Don't do this now," he gripped her tighter, "damn it Rukia, don't do this now. Not like this."

If they said these things now, if their first confessions of long-unspoken words were in this horrible place, he didn't think he'd ever be able to look at her again without seeing her dying. And if she didn't surv--no, no, she was surviving.

"I guess we were both fools," she breathed.

_There's no-one I'd rather be a fool with._

_Wait._

_Were?_

"I can leave my heart with you."

"Then I'll have to fix it, won't I?"

The hand gripping his coat went slack, the cold fingers kept there only by the fabric. The wet, rasping breaths she was taking stilled. She went limp in his arms, her head lolling back. Unwillingly his eyes went to her still features, to the parted lips and closed eyes, features arranged in a gruesome kind of serenity. As though all the cares in the wold had gone away.

_No._

_No no no_

_Nononononono_

"Rukia!!" he barely recognize the desperate scream as his own, "Rukia!!"

Fortunately, someone else did.

A very expensive scar-wearing someone.

Byakuya's eyes widened as he looked over his shoulder to see Ichigo Kurosaki clutching the still form of Rukia, screaming her name as though his heart was breaking. Even when he had charged into Las Noches to save her the firs thing that had popped into his head was his dead wife.

But looking at her so still in Ichigo's arms.

All he could think was

_Rukia_.

Not Hisana, not anyone else, just Rukia. Just the little sister that he loved without even realizing it. The little sister that he had to protect. Apparently Sode was in trouble because Senbonzakura took control of the situation. His Zanpakto had always been a much better big sister to the Zanpakto than he had been to his little sister. His foot went towards Rukia but his mind shouted something else entirely.

_Fool! Go get help!_

He shunpoed faster than he ever had in his entire life. Fast enough he had a feeling Yoruichi was finally going to give up that title, or at least name him 'God of the Flash'. Orihime may have been in the middle of some battle and their interaction may have been only monetary prior to this but the second he appeared and she saw him she seemed to understand that she was needed. It was on that day Byakuya Kuchiki learned that if Orihime ever did decide to be mean, Tsubaki was not an opponent he wanted to go up against.

"Take me to her," she said with a small smile, stepping forward. He wrapped an arm around her and shunpoed to them, "oh my God."

Ichigo was down on one knee, like a warrior being knighted, his back hunched over Rukia's small form. It took Byakuya's befuddled mind a moment to realize that he was protecting her. He couldn't fight, the thought of moving was unfathomable to him. He couldn't just _leave _her in the mud like she was. Some Arrancar had attacked obviously, leaving a gash across his back. And it was coming for a second wave. Byakuya's muscles clenched in fury before the thing was reduced to dust by his Bankai.

"Go," he ordered Orihime, "I will protect you all."

Orihime nodded and ran over to Ichigo and Rukia, falling to her knees in front of them. Mud splashed up and stained her white garments but she didn't care. The only thing that mattered was healing Rukia. Ichigo too but it was far easier to heal a gash than the dead. The problem was that Ichigo wasn't letting go. He didn't even seem to be aware of the world around him. If not for the shaking of his shoulders she would have thought he too was dead. Gently she laid a hand on his shoulder. Slowly his hazel eyes rose to meet hers.

There was such gut-wrenching sorrow in them, such pain, he looked like someone whose entire world had been shattered beyond repair.

"S-she said she wasn't worth it," his lips were barely able to form the words.

"We know better," she said.

"I can't let her go."

"Its okay," Orihime said scooting forward, "you don't have to."

She summoned the Shun Shun Rikka, the golden glow encasing Rukia. Before their eyes the Shinigami's body knitted itself back together. Her chest began to rise and fall, her heart beat. Her body was perfectly fine.

Save for one crucial thing

"Why isn't she waking up?" Ichigo demanded.

"I-I don't know," Orihime focused on the shield, "she should be, she's healed--" she looked up at Ichigo, the question hanging in the air.

_What if she doesn't want to?_

"No! Damn it Rukia don't do this!" Orihime withdrew her shield as Ichigo held Rukia to his chest, "you have to wake up!" Orihime moved behind him and began to heal his back but Ichigo didn't seem to notice, "we all make mistakes, I know that, trust me I know that, but whatever you did, whatever made you feel like this, its what they wanted. Its not what you want. It isn't. I know you."

_Say it_

_Say it damn it_

_Tell her_

"I know that when you yell at me its usually because I've done something stupid and you're scared about me," his fingers tightened on her shoulders, "I know that sometimes you get this _look_ in your eyes, its so raw and sad and scared and all I want to do is fight away the monsters," his voice had stopped trembling. it was strong and sure, as though he had never been so sure of the words that came from his lips in his entire life.

Orihime continued to heal his back, focusing her energy on helping as best she could. She thought she would be sad if she heard Ichigo confess his love to someone else but the truth was this was a long time coming. That was why she couldn't kiss him when he was asleep. She wanted him to love her but if he pretended too, if he pretended to love her when he really loved someone else, that would be so much worse. She was just glad that Ulquiorra and Grimmjow were off somewhere else, she didn't have to worry about them.

"I swear, I'll help you fight. Even if you think its just your battle, you're wrong--you're so wrong."

His hands clutched her closer.

_You made the rain stop for me_

_Let me stop it for you_


	3. MerryGoRound of Life

**Okay so here we go! Third part!**

**This was heavily inspired by a lot of stories I've read where Byakuya almost dies and Hisana comes to him. **

**Um this includes some references to my Byakuya/Hisana story "Scarlet" but nothing to the point where you don't understand what's going on.**

**Merry-Go-Round of life is a music box piece theme from Howl's Moving Castle that inspired this chapter. **

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When Rukia Kuchiki's vision cleared she was in a place she did not recognize. She was dressed in a clean black uniform though her Zanpakto was nowhere to be seen. All her wounds were healed and she could move as well though each step sent ripples of light across the surface of whatever she was on. The closest she could approximate it to was the moments when her brother came to save her and the blades of his Bankai rose up. Glancing down she saw her own reflection staring back at her and it occurred to her that she was standing on some kind of body of water.

"Hello?" she called, "Sode?" nothing, "Senbonzakura?" she tried, again nothing, "Zangetsu? Zabimaru? Anyone?" no-one responded, "I know I'm in an inner world and I know there's a spirit here," she peered around, "its really rude to leave me just standing here," she said, trying to play to whatever sympathy the spirit had. Spirits exerted complete dominance over their domain and infuriating whoever this was was not a wise idea, "why am I--" Rukia trailed off.

She had been dying. Dying and Ichigo had been holding her and telling her not to say stupid things like that she didn't need to be saved. Like she didn't _want_ to be saved. She hadn't, but he couldn't hear it. She had killed Kaien, twice. She was always causing trouble and people always had to save her. She was useless. And her brother, Byakuya, all she did was cause him pain. It was not her fault that she looked like her sister, but she looked like her none the less. She closed her eyes. She did not want to make the people she loved suffer anymore. Not Ichigo, not her Nakama, not her brother, no-one.

"I was dying," she repeated softly.

A completely different sound reached the deafening silence Rukia's ears. Someone was humming. It was familiar and yet she could not place where she had heard it before. The tune was soft and melodious and for a reason she could not explain Rukia felt instantly comforted by it. It was as though the song had always been a part of her, a part of her she did not know existed. She felt like she had when she regained Sode after their long separation or when her brother had told her that she had a sister, that strange feeling of completion. Though she was still alone she turned her head around seeking out the owner of the voice. Slowly the humming turned to something a bit more delicate, like a music box.

She couldn't explain how she knew but she knew there would be a ballerina in a pale pink tutu that would twirl in front of a small mirror. The inside would be pale pink fabric, spotted from constantly handling but lovingly wiped down none the less. The gems inside would not be valuable, but they would be the most beautiful things in the world. All her dreams, everything she had wondered with her childish mind, all the answers could be found in that box.

As she made her way through the darkness, her steps sending ripples through the glass of the lake, she saw a paler patch of light. In the middle of it was the music box. Rukia hurried forward, pressed on by something she did not understand but knew to listen to none the less. Instead of getting farther away the box seemed to get closer and closer until it was almost right under her feet. Kneeling down Rukia looked at the pale box, the ballerina still twirling inside in front of the mirror. She had seen priceless gems, gems so special they did not even have a price. The jewels inside were child's playthings, cast offs from an older relatives. They were mixed with pale flowers.

Plum blossoms.

"Whose there?" she asked, "you have to be here, or you wouldn't be able to put this here."

Out of the darkness a pale hand streaked, the music box closing instantly as the hand vanished one more back into the darkness just as quickly as it had come leaving Rukia in silence. The light flickered and formed the outline of a woman who could have been her twin. Her very elegantly dressed, very infuriated twin. Rukia's eyes widened as she jumped to her feet, painfully aware of the simple uniform she wore. The impossibility of the situation hit her harder than any blow she had received to bring her to this place.

"Hisana?" she whispered, her sisters name falling from her lips.

"What in Gods name were you thinking?" came the demand from the outline, the no nonsense tone contradicting the formal dress. Rukia's eyes widened at the sharp anger in her sister's tone.

"I--"

"Oh I've been listening," Hisana said, "thinking you're not worth it, degrading yourself because of some stupid Hollow that you killed--" her sister put her hands on her hips, "you're being ridiculous."

"I'm being what?!" Rukia cried in disbelief.

Even before Byakuya had told her of Hisana's connection to her, Rukia had a distinct and clear picture of her brother's wife. From what everyone said she was a kind, quiet woman who was sometimes unsure of her place in the Kuchiki family. From what Byakuya told her her last moments had been filled with apologies. Rukia had believed them, who was she to judge a woman she had never met? But one thing had always struck her as rather odd. Byakuya did not seem like the kind of man who would tolerate a weak woman--much less love someone like how they described her sister. She supposed Hisana had acted differently towards the end of her life, Rukia knew that when she was sick tended to act differently as well.

"I said," Hisana continued walking forward, "that you're being rediculous."

In the light Rukia could see the difference between herself and her sister. Hisana's features were shaper than hers, her hair was a bit longer as well and pushed back behind her ears. She did not have the one strip that fell between her eyes like Rukia did. Rukia looked down, unable to meet the violet gaze of her sister. She felt Hisana step closer, the smell of sakura blossoms clinging to her sister like it did to Byakuya. It was hard not to meet her eyes given their similarity in height. Usually everyone was so much taller than her that it was easy not to meet their eyes.

"Rukia," Hisana sighed, her voice soft, "I know its hard to tell the people you care about that you do," her sister said, "when I died I told your brother that I couldn't return his love," Rukia's eyes widened, "if there was one thing I regret about my death it was not just leaving him and you, it was not telling him that I did love him."

"Why did you leave me?" Rukia asked, her eyes raising to meet Hisana's.

"I couldn't take care of you," Hisana said, her eyes full of regret, "I tried but I was not as strong as you are, not then anyway. I was young and you were a baby. Our family was wealthy, the most I'd done for taking care of you was to play with you while a nurse was nearby. And when I was able to take care of you, I couldn't find you," her eyes saddened, "I am so sorry for what happened."

"I was alright," Rukia didn't understand why but she was suddenly desperate to reassure her, "I had Renji and the other kids and now I have Byakuya who--" Rukia trailed off.

Byakuya, her brother, the man who had been so broken by his wife's death that he never let anyone into his heart until that day when he took that blade for her. Byakuya who struggled against the habits he built up to allow her closer than an arm's length. Byakuya who took out Hollows and Bounts and whoever else dared to try and hurt her, who did foolish and wonderful things to ensure she was safe. Byakuya who had handed her a cloak before she had gone off to Hueco Mundo and told her to be careful before he too arrived and once again saved her life.

"I know," Hisana said with a smile, "he can be a bit strange sometimes. Not as strange as the rest of your Nakama though."

Rukia nodded, thinking of loud, crazy Renji who first let her go and then fought harder than anyone to get her back. Who first ran at her brother with his new Bankai and then spent hours training with him to be proficient with it--though she hoped outside of sparring he wasn't going to be charging her brother anytime soon. She thought of Uryuu who came despite being a Quincy, despite everything that said he couldn't, wouldn't _shouldn't_ be there, he was. Keigo, Tatsuki,--all the school people who looked at them with a gaze that plainly said they knew they were being left out, that they knew there was _something _ more and that they were only upset that they were being left out, not that their friends were what they were. Urahara and Yoruichi and all the people who helped them, who trained them, who were always there for them. Sado who was such a giant but more gentle than anyone she'd ever known before.

Orihime who fought harder than Ichigo, than Sado, than Renji, than anyone Rukia had met in her entire life to be stronger, to be useful to her friends. She felt like a burden, not knowing that no-one saw her that way.

And Ichigo.

_Nakama's a foolish word, don't you think?_

She tried to tell him but..

_Don't do this, damn it Rukia, don't do this now. Not like this._

But he hadn't wanted to hear as she died in his arms. She didn't blame him. Words spoken as death claimed had a way of haunting people. She could still remember Kaien's last words and she knew Byakuya remembered Hisana's. She hadn't wanted to leave without telling him but now, now she didn't want to leave at all. Her eyes widened as she looked up to see Hisana watching her with a smile that was both full of regret and hope.

"I know," her sister said offering her arm, "lets get you back, shall we?"

Shyly Rukia took her sisters arm as they headed off into the darkness.

"How did you meet Byakuya?" Rukia asked looking over at him.

"I rescued him," Hisana said. Rukia's eyes widened, "its a terribly long story but, well he wasn't always as strong and brave as he is now," she said, "and one time, people were trying to kidnap him for ransom and I accidentally wound up rescuing him," she smiled at Rukia, "of course he rescued me many times over but that first time I saved him," she stopped at some invisible point, "now then--"

"I'm glad he told me about you," Rukia said looking at Hisana. Her sister's eyes widened before she too smiled, "I'm glad I have a sister."

"I'm glad he told you about me too," Hisana said leaning forward and wrapping her arms around Rukia. Rukia returned the embrace tightly, "tell him what's done is done, he doesn't have to forget me, he just has to accept I'm gone," Rukia nodded, "but tell him I love him."

"I will," she said tightening her arms around her sister, "goodbye, sister."

"Take care little sister," Hisana said. Rukia felt her sister brush a kiss across her brow.

"Thank you, for everything," Rukia whispered before the sensation of falling enveloped her.

When Rukia was aware of herself again she was lying on a futon in the Kuchiki Manor. It took a moment to regain control of her sluggish limbs but she was successful after a moment. To her left was the sprawling gardens of the Kuchiki Manor. To her right was none other than Ichigo Kurosaki. He was obviously asleep, sprawled on the ground because her brother was not really one for beds and Ichigo wasn't one for the kneeling cushions that he used. His head was turned towards her, his features arranged in their usual scowl. One of Rukia's hands was covered by Ichigo's own. She moved her fingers under his calloused palm.

Ichigo jerked upright, his eyes flying around as he looked for something to kill. Rukia hid her smile before his eyes landed on hers. If his reaction before had been amusing it was priceless compared to his face now. She had never seen him look so stunned before. His eyes were wide and his lips were parted as he took in the sight of her violet eyes. Both his hand by his side and the one covering her hand were locked in white-knuckled fists. Rukia turned her head, to fully face him.

"Hi," she said, her voice unexpectedly not hoarse but soft. Orihime must have healed her.

Ichigo could scarcely believe Rukia was awake. It had been scarcely a week since she had--he couldn't even get the words out through his mind. Just that it had been a week since he carried her back to the Kuchiki Manor. Fully healed, Unohana had told them, there was nothing she could do. It was harder to say whose face had fallen more, Byakuya's or his. He had carried her back to the Manor, the thought of letting her go impossible to him. Byakuya had directed him to one room where he lay her down and prepared to sit by her side until she woke up. Sit by her side when his body was still covered in mud and sweat and tears and his blood and her blood. Byakuya had indulged him for a few hours before a maid had shown him to an adjoining room that held a bed and a bathroom where a bath was waiting for him. Meeting his gaze squarely the maid told him Lord Kuchiki said there was a good chance his sister wasn't going to wake up just to avoid the smell coming off him.

Though he hadn't seen the humor in it, Ichigo had agreed with a numb shake of his head and set about cleaning. He and Byakuya fell into an odd sort of routine. One would stay with her--usually him because Byakuya had duties as a surviving Captain--and then the other would take their turn. Others came like Renji and Orihime but he and Byakuya were the main two. Ichigo knew Byakuya loved Rukia but during the past week he had come to see his former enemy as something far closer to himself. He was a big brother. Ichigo knew that if it was Yuzu or Karin he would do the same thing. Though he never voiced it he had a feeling Byakuya knew that Ichigo understood. But now a week had passed and Rukia had opened her violet eyes for the first time.

"Rukia--" she offered him a sleepy smile and it was as though something in him snapped.

As if her words had shaken him out of his stupor she suddenly found herself upright and practically crushed against his chest. The feeling of being held so tightly by him was both strange and wonderful. Under the Shinigami cloths he wore she felt the heat of his body and the strength of his arms. His heart was racing against her ear as she felt him tremble against her. Carefully Rukia reached up and wrapped her arms around him as well breathing in his familiar scent mixed with soap that she knew the Kuchiki guests used.

"How long have I been out?" she asked tentatively.

"A week," he said.

"Is that why you smell like a Kuchiki?" she asked pulling back slightly to look at him.

His amber eyes were filled with such emotion that it shook her. She also saw barely contained tears swimming in the depths. Reaching up she laid a hand on his cheek. Ichigo closed his eyes, not even caring that a single traitorous tear escaped his eye to run across Rukia's fingertips.

"Ichigo," Rukia breathed, concern surging through her.

"Fuck, Rukia," he swore, not caring as he opened his eyes, his lips pulling into a grin that completely contradicted the tear from earlier, "I thought I lost you."

"Idiot," Rukia said shaking her head, "you're not going to loose me."

"Yeah," he said, though whether it was to him being an idiot or her reassurance she wasn't sure. Her hand was still on his cheek Ichigo found himself turning towards it desperate for as much contact with her as he could have. One of his hands left her back to cover his hand against her cheek, his other arm still tight around her back, "don't worry me like that."

"Like you haven't worried me a million times before," she said glaring at him. Unexpectedly his face broke into a grin, "what?"

"Nothing its just--you sound like _you_ again."

"I know," Rukia said, "I-I had some help," she looked at the ground, remembering the sound of the music box, "I'm just glad to be home."

Ichigo nodded tightening his arm around her.

"Hey Ichigo," she said aft ere a moment.

"Hmm?" he looked at her.

"Do you remember what I said? About Nakama being a stupid word?" he nodded. Rukia tired to ignore her pounding heart. Ichigo looked down at her, his own heart pounding as well, "I don't know if I'm ready," she bit her lip, "I don't want anything to change but I don't know if I can stand it if they say the same."

Ichigo said nothing as he took the hand that held her own to his cheek held it in front of him. Before Rukia's stunned eyes he lowered his head and brushed his lips against her knuckles before he threaded their fingers together. She looked at their joined hands, aware of how perfectly they fit together despite their difference in size.

"I know," Ichigo said softly, "I'm just glad to have you back," his arm tightened around her waist.

"I'm glad to be back," she said leaning her head against his shoulder.

**

* * *

**

Byakuya found Ichigo and Rukia talking, his arm snugly around her waist as she leaned against him despite being fully healed. If he had not reached a new--albiet a bit grudging--understanding with Ichigo this past week, he probably would have murdered him right there. As it was, he simply made a note to murder him later and stepped fully into the room. Rukia's eyes lit up at the sight of him and even Ichigo grinned.

"Hey Byakuya," he said.

Correction, he was going to kill Ichigo _slowly_ later on.

"I'll see you in a bit," he said smiling at Rukia before he untangled himself and got to his feet, leaving the siblings alone.

Byakuya approached the futon where Rukia lay, seating himself on the cushion nearby when she made a move to get up. Her poor brother did not look half as composed as he usually did. She could see the tell tale signs of sleeplessness in his eyes and knowing him he had only the minimal amount of healing given the way he favored his arm and leg. Injuries he received coming after her. Instead of the feeling of sadness and uselessness all Rukia felt was grateful. Grateful that she had such a brother who would go to a place like Las Noches for her.

"I'm sorry I worried you," Rukia said, meeting his eyes.

"Do not trouble yourself with such things, focus on regaining your strength," he said, though his voice was cool as usual she could hear the underlying worry and the relief that she was awake.

"You need your rest too, brother," she said.

Byakuya said nothing but his eyes softened slightly. Rukia bit her lip, unsure if what she said would even be believed.

"Brother? May I ask you something?"

"If this is about the Kurosaki brat," he began.

"No," Rukia said, fighting the pink that stained her cheeks. She ducked her head for a moment before looking at him, "did my sister rescue you?"

Byakuya's eyes widened, his lips parting in surprise. Rukia stared. It was true? It was impossible to think of Byakuya being rescued by anyone, much less someone like her but the surprise on his face was just as much confirmation as when he slowly nodded. Rukia smiled at her brother.

"She said to tell you what's done is done and that you don't have to forget her, you just have to accept she's gone," Rukia repeated, " and she also said to tell you that she loves you."

Byakuya's eyes closed for a moment, as her words sunk in. It sounded like something Hisana would say. Not the frail woman she had become but the vivacious, no-nonsense woman he had married all those years ago. When he opened his eyes and looked at Rukia there was a kind of peace in them she had not seen before. She reached out and covered her hand with his and for the first time Byakuya did not stiffen at the contact. Instead he looked at their hands and then at her face.

"I'm glad you're feeling better, sister," he said.

"I'm just glad to be home, brother," Rukia replied.

Soon Ichigo returned as Byakuya went to inform the others that Rukia had awoken.

"He seemed happy," Ichigo said.

"I think he was," Rukia said.

"Oh hey, I found this outside. I know its not the season for it and we're not--" he trailed off, "but here."

Like a schoolboy he thrust his hand out. Nestled in his palm and right under her nose was a plum blossom. Rukia's eyes widened as she took the flower from him with the upmost care. Ichigo watched as Rukia touched the surface of the flower, her eyes softening.

"You okay?" Ichigo asked.

"Yes," Rukia said smiling.

Impulsively she leaned forward and gently pressed her lips to his, holding the flower to the side so it didn't get crush. Ichigo's eyes widened at the light touch of lips before she withdrew before he could return the kiss. She ducked her head, her blush-stained cheeks barely visible under her hair.

"W-what was that?" he got out, his voice breathless.

"It was a kiss," she said touching the petals of the flower, "I wanted to say thank you for the flower," she tentatively raised her eyes to his, "what?"

Before she could ask anymore he leaned down and captured her lips in a much longer kiss, one of his hands coming to the other side of her legs to brace his weight as his other hand cupped the back of her head. Rukia returned the kiss, one of her hands cradling the flower and the other coming up to lay on his shoulder. They could have kissed forever.

"Its about fucking time!"

Unfortunately their friends had come to see Rukia.

Still as Rukia looked at their shocked faces all she could do was smile brightly.

She was home.

And that was where she wanted to be.


End file.
